This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you.
Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot.
Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings."
I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here.
More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format.
You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results.
You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country.
You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for.
This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod.
I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring.
This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy.
Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business.
New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to.
Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.
Most small business owners don’t fail at SEO.
They get confused, overwhelmed, or quietly ripped off.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, which is part two of a two parter, I’m letting you know what a good SEO person looks like in terms of their offers.
What SEO really costs in the UK, how long it takes to work, and how to spot legitimate professionals from cowboys.
No jargon.
No “it depends” nonsense.
No magical promises.
In this episode, I cover:What proper SEO services should include (and what’s usually a waste of money)How good SEOs explain their work without hiding behind acronymsWhy rankings don’t pay your mortgage, but revenue doesRealistic SEO pricing for small businesses and ecommerce sitesHonest timelines for technical fixes, content, and resultsHow to avoid dependency and find SEO help you can actually trust
If you’re about to hire an SEO, already paying one, or wondering why results don’t match the promises, this episode could save you a lot of money and frustration.
If you haven’t listened to part one yet, go back and start there first.
And if this helps, please share it with someone who’s about to sign an SEO contract.
Timestamped summary
00:00 "Good SEO: Clarity Over Jargon"
04:03 "SEO That Drives Real Results"
08:42 "SEO Timelines Simplified"
12:18 "SEO: Consistent, Methodical Work"
This episode is all about helping you identify a decent SEO person from a scammer. But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
What The F**k Your SEO is Actually Charging You For (And Why It's a Scam)
Sun, 14 Dec 2025
Ever been quoted some ridiculous SEO retainer and thought… hang on, what the f**k am I actually paying for? Yeah. Same as lots of my clients. And honestly, I’m tired of watching small businesses get fleeced by agencies who talk a big game but can’t explain a single thing they’re doing.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m breaking down the biggest red flags in SEO.
Guaranteed rankings. “Secret” methodologies. Vague contracts. The lot.
If you’ve ever felt stupid for falling for any of this, don’t. These people are professionals at sounding credible while delivering absolutely nothing.
By the end, you’ll know exactly what questions to ask, what bullshit to ignore, and how to spot an SEO that’s more scammer than specialist.
Part two is coming next week, where I’ll show you what good SEO should actually look like (and what it should cost). But for now, let’s make sure you stop handing your hard-earned money to chancers.
If you’ve got questions, come yell at me on LinkedIn or drop me an email. I don’t bite… unless you promise “guaranteed rankings.”
Timestamped summary
00:00 "Protecting Small Businesses in SEO"
04:03 Vague SEO Contracts Warning
09:27 Avoid SEO Shortcuts
10:21 SEO: Hard Work, Real Experts
This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO isn't a red flag waving scammer. But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
I’ve lost count of the businesses that hire an SEO expert, pay good money, and then make it impossible for us to actually do the job.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m calling out the ridiculousness I sometimes see when a business hires an SEO. Not you. You wouldn't do any of this, I'm sure. But we'll explore some of the absolute sh*ttery that can go down when one of us SEO experts gets hired by someone who doesn't understand what our role in their business actually is!
If you want fluffy LinkedIn advice, this isn’t the show for you.
But if you’re ready to stop sabotaging your own results and work with an SEO like a grown-up, hit play.
This one might sting a bit — but it’ll make you money, which is all I f**king care about.
Timestamped summary
00:00 Freelancing Isn't Remote Employment
04:26 Clients Restricting Access Harms Results
09:00 Empower Your SEO Expert
10:45 Respect Freelancers for Better Results
This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO is equipped to do their job properly.
But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
In this episode I’m taking on one of the most annoying lies in the SEO world. You’ve probably heard it. “SEO isn’t really for businesses your size.” Yeah. That's total bullshit.
Someone asked me about it on LinkedIn and honestly, I could feel my blood pressure rising.
So I’m breaking down why small businesses keep getting fobbed off by big agencies and why it has nothing to do with SEO… and everything to do with profit.
I talk through the real reasons you’re being dismissed and then walk you through what small businesses can actually do to get found. Local SEO wins. Smarter page titles. Writing content that answers real questions. Getting reviews. Fixing the basics on your website. It’s all here and none of it requires dropping two grand a month on an agency.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too small” for SEO or felt like your website is just sitting there like a digital paperweight, this one will sort you out.
If it helps, follow SEO F**king What so you don’t miss next week’s episode. And if you know someone who’s been fed this same rubbish, send this to them. Sharing is caring and all that.
The F**king SEO Your Web Designer Promised vs What You Actually Got
Sun, 23 Nov 2025
Ever handed over a chunk of cash to your web designer for “SEO” and ended up with nothing but a plugin and a lot of empty promises?
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m pulling back the curtain on what really happens when web designers say they do SEO—and how you can tell if you’ve been stitched up.
I’ll walk you through the fixes and explain why most web designers aren’t SEO experts (and why that’s not a dig at them), reveal what real SEO looks like, and share the right questions to ask before you hire anyone.
Plus, I’ve got actionable steps you can take right now to get your site sorted—no bollocks, just practical advice.
If you’re ready to finally get found and make some money, hit follow and click play for some non-wanky SEO guidance that actually works!
Timestamped summary
00:00 "Web Design vs. True SEO"
03:52 "SEO Advice: Get Found"
This episode is all about ensuring your web designer doesn't totally fuck you over on your SEO.
But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
Fed up with watching charlatans and self-proclaimed “AI SEO gurus” rake in cash and followers by selling absolute bollocks? Yeah, me too.
 This is SEO Fu*king What. I'm Nikki, and I help business owners like you to get found in search and make money from your website
In this no-bullshit episode, I’m explaining:Why the “SEO is dead” crowd keeps shouting the loudestThe real reason AI content farms never win long-termHow to spot the red flags (and the actual strategies that still work)
If you care about sustainable SEO that actually ranks, this
one’s for you.
This episode is all about the total dickheads who are offering terrible advice that could fuck up your website and its SEO.
You'll learn a lot from it.
But you'll get even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
LinkedIn told you to sack your SEO tools and just use ChatGPT. Cute.
 This is SEO Fu*king What. I'm Nikki, and I help business owners like you to get found in search and make money from your website
In this episode, I break down the three biggest ChatGPT SEO myths — fake volumes, fantasy Keyword Density (KD), and imaginary competitor analysis. I also give you a budget-savvy playbook that actually works: using GSC, manual SERPs and free tools.
And I share exactly where AI belongs (and where it doesn’t).
Click play to learn how to use ChatGPT for SEO the right way...
Timestamped summary
00:00 "ChatGPT vs Paid SEO Tools"
03:58 "Ahrefs vs. ChatGPT: SEO Reality"
08:23 "Budget SEO Tips Exposed"
10:42 SEO Success Requires Time & Data
This episode is all about not letting Chat GPT totally fuck up your SEO.
But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
Hey hey. It’s Nikki, and welcome to "SEO F*%king What", the no-bullshit podcast about getting your website found in Google by the people who actually want to buy from you - without the wanky advice the LinkedIn gurus are peddling.
If you’ve ever spent hours crafting a blog post only for Google to completely ignore it, this episode is exactly what you need.
I'll be slicing through the usual SEO myths and explain why your posts aren’t ranking - and more importantly, how to fix it fast.
This episode will help you ensure you're making your content searchable and scannable. And we'll get you offering actual answers (instead of generic waffle).
Oh, and not forgetting ensure your meta descriptions actually get clicks.
You’ll also hear why quick SEO fixes can make a huge difference for small businesses, and how one-off improvements don’t mean you have to sell your soul to a retainer.
Chapter Timestamped summary:
00:25 "Fixing Blog SEO Mistakes"
04:16 Fixing Underperforming Blog Posts
07:51 One more important thing
This episode is all about you writing better shit on your blog. What better way to make sure this happens than having me in your corner - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training/
Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/
Hey hey, it’s Nikki, and welcome to "SEO F*%king What". This is the podcast where I cut through the bollocks and give you the real advice you need to get your website found (and making money) on Google.
In this episode, “Who Owns Your SEO Shlt,” I’m talking about something that’s been pissing me off for years: the sneaky way agencies and freelancers end up owning your entire Google presence without you even knowing it.
Over three decades working in digital marketing, I’ve seen businesses spend thousands on Google Ads, Analytics, and Search Console, only to realise later they've forgotten the most important aspect of running these accounts.
In this episode, I’ll break down how to get out of this mess when it happens and ensure it never bites you on the arse again.
I promise, it’s actionable stuff you won’t hear from those LinkedIn gooroos.
So click play and let’s get into it!
Welcome to "SEO Fucking What," the podcast that cuts through the bullshit and tells it straight, with no wanky jargon and no panic-peddling.
I’m Nikki, here to help you make damn real money from your website by showing up on Google, not by falling for shiny new courses or scare tactics from so-called LinkedIn gurus.
In today’s very first episode, we're tackling the biggest scam floating around the digital marketing scene: the tired claim that "SEO is dead."
So grab your coffee (and maybe cover your ears if you’re sensitive to swearing), because we’re about to expose the con jobs, give you real tips, and remind you to trust your own data over social media hype.
Join me. Let’s keep SEO non-wanky and make it work for your business.
